The Wrong Crime?

[When I first posted this tonight I'd forgotten that I'd said similar things in the last post here.  I guess that means it's been on my mind more than once? ---or I'm just that dern forgetful these days.  Either way I believe it needs repeating so here I am hitting "post!" anyway.]


A couple of weeks ago my granddaughter who just started university this year posted a photo of her sitting on the bed in her dorm before she'd personalized it. The stark plain walls and everything the same bland color reminded me of a cell. (it was much cozier and pretty after she decorated it!) That got me thinking of prisons...

Thinking about prisons made me think about the articles I've seen in recent years about all the features they have these days, some complete with photos. Some of them are rather amazing given the seriousness of some of the crimes the inmates have done to earn their room in one. Some things seem more like what you'd expect in some fancy summer camp and then some! They have television, internet connections to use, a library, exercise courts - sometimes equipment, all sorts of things along with the usual three meals a day, clothing, free medical, prescriptions and dental needs.

I read that to keep a criminal in jail for a year costs between about $22,000 and $47,000 dollars, depending on the prison and how much security. Well--- ! That got me thinking a bit further along
those lines... They get three meals a day, something to sleep on, quiet time with no worries about how they're going to eat tomorrow, can get medical help... Hey! Hmmmm....

Now some might say that being a prisoner is a very crummy life to have. While I'm sure that is true and though some may object to my saying so - most won't understand this or say I've gone a step too
far in the analogy I can tell you that, seriously, living with some of these invisible illnesses sometimes feels like we are prisoners! We are restricted from doing normal things, often can't manage to keep the schedule we desire (symptoms dictate) etc. The illness can be a harsh warden!

But there are some big differences between those prisoners and me. They have a known end date to their incarceration. Some even get out early for good behavior! I don't. While I can do like my grand-daughter and personalize my adobe my MCS Warden still dictates with what and how much. And,  well, for those of us who are dependent on some form of disability income it sure doesn't come
anywhere near what is spent on keeping their criminals in a cell----

For many of us are closer akin to living in Arizona's "tent city"... for some of my MCS friends almost literally as their living in tents, or campers or garages somewhere... Some are homeless due to income or should I say the lack thereof? Some of us are but one very short step away from homelessness.

Seems perhaps we have committed the wrong crime? Or live in the wrong place, got ill at the wrong time?

Falling ill is NOT a crime! Is it?


Zona

New MCS & CFS T-shirts and Buttons!

Take a look at the new shirts and buttons up in Zona's Zone Cafepress Shops! Go to Zona's MCS Shop and to Zona's MCS2 Shop.

I will be adding more shortly so do check back!

Also if you have something you'd like to see put on a t-shirt or button (bags, labels etc too) you can send me your idea or leave it in a comment here!

Don't forget May is CFS

Left Foot, Right Foot, Feet, Feet, Feet...

Went to the store today and Dh parked the car at the other end of the parking lot,about 100 feet away. Me, thinking in some ways (though not others) I'm not as bad as I once was could walk those feet and it would be good for me to do. Not!

The first twenty feet or so INTO the store wasn't so bad. Then there was the standing in line. Not so good for someone with MCS! And then high tailing it out the door to the wide outdoor air
and then to the car.

Ten feet later I'm telling myself "left foot, right foot", "keep going you can do it!". Huff. Puff. Legs becoming lead. "Left foot, right foot". But self retorted, "Hey! Wait a minute there! I don't even know where my feet are at this point! How do you expect me to keep moving them?!" Huff, Puff, pant , pant.

Half way across that parking lot and still no car in sight. At this point I knew just how bad I really am. Funny how we can fake ourselves into believing other wise until challenged.

And yet it ISN"T out of shape muscles that's the problem. It's endurance. It's energy. It's lack of air power too. And nerve power. How does one explain nerve power?

Zona

And Just As It Was Getting Average

Every now and the my symptoms seem to roll into a lull. Though they may vary still, from hour to hour, day to day there gettings to be a sameness about it, an 'average'. I can only hope it stays that way for a while as it is easier to cope with. But then it happens. I get knocked off my average.

About two months ago I got some kind of respiratory virus. I spent weeks sneezing and coughing, headaches, aching, blah. In a wierd kind of way it actually felt 'good'. Yes, I know. That sounds nuts! But I assure your it's really not...because 'normal sick' feels better than this crud. At least with normal sick there's a blah tiredness that matches. With this crud the horrid fatigue is often accompanied by an underlying restlessness, sometimes jitteriness that's hard to describe.

The virus seemed to finally abate, yet not for I have had continual coughing and sinus stuff every since. Yuck. Now I have been attributing this to seasonal allergies, either from mold or the fact that the furnace is now running. However I have been hearing the same thing from several friends, none of whom live anywhere near me and have different weather conditions. Hmmmmm....

Anyway, like I said this has been happening for weeks now, so it's begun to feel 'average'. Not fun mind you, but average.

Until yesterday. Yesterday through me into a tailspin. A change. Not a pleasant change either---and the coughing etc. is still there too. My average world has been turned up on end by terrible back, neck, shoulder and ribcage/chest pain, not quite the same kind I usually get (and I have the usual type much of the time too). That and tingling and numbing. Now tingling is not at all a newcomer to me either but this has been. First it was my hands. Then my foot. That is very unusual for those aren't typical locations of tingling for me much less numbness! Makes you wonder "what's up with this?!".

And if that wasn't enough, along with the difficulty sleeping though it all, today I woke up feeling like I had crashed and burned. Zero strength. I felt like either I was coming down with something awful, which I was hoping for reasons stated above, but I didn't believe, else here comes the extreme of CFS exhaustion again- "the I-Hardly-Have-Enough-Energy-To-Breath" like of fatigue. Ugh.

Does NOT make resting easy let alone trying to sleep.

Waaaaa!

I Could Have Had A Nice Little Rest...

Off and on since last week I've had a sore throat, keep loosing voice, and feeling really cruddy otherwise. I've been miserable and not up to doing a dern thing .

A few days before my friendly worker at Timmy's had told me I looked horrible and asked me what was the matter and I unloaded my tale of sore throat woe. This was one time when my feeble condition was visible apparently, something I have sometimes wished was the case on other occasions when I've felt dead on my feet and some kind soul gives me one of those "but you look fine!" comments.

So yesterday when I was out running around, or rather dragging around on a couple of errands I stopped in to grab a cup of coffee. Ms Timmy's worker ducked back and about gave me the exorcist's sign of the cross with her fingers begging me to stay back from her. Then she informed me to three gals there were off due to some spreading bug with the same symptoms I'd been having.

So--- what I've had is something going around? ! So it's not just the usual junk it seems (didn't feel quite like it was).

As typical in these situations I say ..."If only I had known! I would have just been excused to sprawl out here on my bed guilt free of the dishes in the sink and thefloors that needed vacuuming!"

Seems we are always pushing ourselves along ... somedays right off the old cliff!

Zona

Sofa Surfing With Sally June

Click toon to see a bigger version :)

Told you it was coming soon! The new CFS toon series, "Sofa Surfing with Sally June". A continuing comic strip of the life and times of a 30 year CFS veteren. Hope you enjoy it as much as I hope to. (PS not all will be quite as political in nature... ) - Zona

(When you're really bored...) Journalism gone bad?

My new hobby? Spotting journalism gone bad, ie. news articles on the net with reaaally wierd wording or grammar or, ya, even bad spelling sometimes. Here's a dilly of an example for today taken from breitbart.com.

Quote:

• 
  Loubier pointed to the planned acquisition of Arctic patrol vessels, construction of a deep water port and eavesdropping network in the region, annual military exercises and boosting the number Inuit Arctic rangers keeping on eye on goings-on along its northern frontier

It just kind of goes on and on and on.

(This is what we do when we've come down with the flu? Or when we are reaaaally bored??)

zona

Crashed Toon

(This toon will be available soon as a greeting card at Zona's Zone ---that is when I'm feeling better... -Zona)