Tuesday, May 08, 2007

Call Me Not Irresponsible

I was thinking about Job's friends today, wondering if I perhaps had a few of them.

Have you ever wondered "is it me? or is it them?". I'm sure you have too. Today that's what I asked myself. A couple of people I know seem to think I'm being irresponsible because i've not done anything to solve a problem I can't do anything about. One also seems to think that *I* should be talking to the relatives involved when there's a family member who's place it is to do, more than mine. Hmmmph.

Well I decided I'm not going to do that this time. As for the DOing part of it, the physical stuff... well these friends do know i'm ill, some of them are ill themselves so you'd think they'd understand, right? Nope. And as far as having a resolution to this problem...well what can I do about it? I don't have a magic wand to make something that isn't. I can't change the facts.

I find it very frustrating.

Recently a PWC friend of mine and I were talking about being ill and needing to take care of ourselves too. We tend to put husbands and kids and everyone else's needs first. We also tend to feel like we're being selfish somehow if we put our own needs on the list there. The perpetual doings and givers, that's what we're supposed to be. Who told us that? Somehow we both suspect that it's partly from our upbringing and how we have thot about some scriptures...which makes it mighty difficult to do otherwise. Along with that goes being responsible. We're big on being responsible, this friend and I. We've had that pounded into our heads and we ourselves would probably endorse that too. And yet thinking that way has put us both in the seat of being expected to be responsible for everything including things you just can't do anything about!

So I still sit here in a quandary unsure of just what i really *should* be doing in order not to be the bad, lazy, wrong, guy. Hmmm. It's tough being ill. It's really tough when something needs to be done and you just can't do it and some would like to think that therefore what happens is thus all your fault.

But somehow I'm sure we're not to neglect ourselves either...

(EvenJob had one true helpful friend. Thank God for those! The others will drive us nuts!)