Thursday, August 23, 2012

Put Me In The Pokie?

You may have noticed by now that my mind sometimes meanders around some pretty strange corners when it's aimlessly pondering some things. This happened again last evening when I was once again wondering just how those of us who survive off disability incomes are supposed to make basic ends meet, let alone cover the various extra expenses these illnesses require. Heck the amount they pay doesn't even cover basic rent costs let alone anything else. What is one to do?

We would surely much rather be able to support ourselves if we could. However, obviously if we could hold down a job we wouldn't be considered disabled in the first place nor would we need any help! Why on earth would any sane person wish to live on poverty level incomes? To want that one would have to be insane, and isn't insanity a disability? Hm......

Necessities: Rent, utilities, food, car insurance, gasoline... Luxuries: Internet, TV, supplements, chiropractic and other treatments (which are actually the only things that help me), clothing... As hard as I've tried to stretch, fold and manipulate the Basics list I just can't whip it past the rent. Believe me I've tried every which way to make it happen but it's just impossible unless they'd rent a closet somewhere to three people... It's more than frustrating and stressful going over and over it days on end trying to find the impossible solution.

As my thoughts rolled down this rocky road I dreamed of television, as in wishing there was some way to afford cable. Now you noticed I placed in on the Luxury list because to those of us living on such limited income it is indeed a luxury item along with so many other things we won't die without. But I must inform you that for those of us who are unable to go out, who have little connection to the world out there due to health, television is like a big window to that big world out there that we have little way to be in--- along with the internet which is perhaps even a better medium for connection. So how sane can we stay without cable connections? And how the heck can we have one?

Then my mind did a bit of a hiccup. It does that some time. I guess it was in thinking about rent costs and how much even the tiniest of spaces cost that I recalled a recent photo of my granddaughter who's just starting university this fall, sitting in her small dorm room. The first picture, before she fixed it up with her personal touches, made me think of when my brother was on an aircraft carrier years ago when he was in the marines. He had described the room that he shared to me which in turned made me think of scenes I'd seen in old movies of sailors and ships or submarines and those tiny little rooms with the bunks that the men lived in ---- plain, small, metal looking spaces, rather bland. That in turn made me think of pictures of prisons I'd seen which were similar in size and plainness.... except for some in recent years that seemed more like luxury hotels where you'd expect room service.... and Hey! They had work out rooms and court yards.... and.... Yes! Televisions! And some, even computers and internet!

Hey! And that is when it dawned on me--- It wasn't too long ago when I'd seen an article on what we are spending to keep one man in jail per year and that amount was waaaay more than what we on disability have to live on! And they even get TV! Of course they don't want prisoner's lives to be too cruel, right?

Maybe we should go to the pokey? They even get three squares a day, I think....

I warned you my mind sometimes takes a strange turn or two.

Zona #36985
SunnyBlock Prison
Block C
Cell 3

Sherrif Wolfgang Wisenheimer in charge

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Tuesday, August 21, 2012


Dh and i were driving down the road yesterday headed towards the cemetery where his grandma is buried. Yesterday marked one year since his father died and to this day we still have no clue where (or if) his mother buried him. Rumor had it that she was,for some odd reason, going to put his ashes on HER mother's grave?? So we were going to go take a look...

The cemetery is out by the airport which is way on the north side of town from us on the opposite end from here. So there we were driving down the highway when i heard a "clunk" and saw what looked like a round, dark object glazing off the open window by me and hitting next to my shoulder on the seat. I twisted to look and see if the thing lay here or had fallen to the floor by the door. For some reason I thot of a beetle or some such because well, what else would be flying in the air and make a "clunk" sound when it hit the car? Years ago my brother had been hit in the chest by a hard shelled bug, presumably a beetle, while riding his motorcycle down a highway. I supposed that is what made me think of that.

I didn't spot anything so I turned back towards the front. Suddenly my back started burning like it was on fire! Then it dawned on me.... STING! Sure enough as I leaned forward to whisk that nasty burning coal off my back I saw a winged object with a stinger flying out the window. I've been stung!!! Now I confess I got a bit panicked, after all, I'm allergic to bees! I wasn't sure just what that was that fly back out the window but my hunch was it was a wasp as it seemed more that shape and I thot I saw a stinger. Bees loose their stinger when they sting you...

Seems I wasn't the only one panicked. Dear Husband whipped that car around faster than the Roadrunner and headed home. Ok, I admit it is the one time I have been sort of happy that we moved so close to the hospital even though the street is so very noisy!

I'm happy to report that though no sting would be better than any sting it turned out that I didn't have a horrible reaction, just a lousy one. I don't recall being stung by a wasp before, else it must have been eons ago. I do know how I've reacted to bee stings, however - NOT well!! So tonight now, a day later I'm only dealing with the usual assortment of symptoms plus a lot of discomfort, very achy muscles where the sting was, a big red spot some burning yet and a bit of itching. Makes it a bit difficult to sit or lay down due to that rubbing and putting pressure on the area but I'm still breathing :)

--After thoughts --- I was a bit surprised that those who are around me that I told, mostly family members and a couple of friends, were so concerned and took the ordeal seriously. I suppose it is rather well known how bad bee stings can be for those who are allergic (and unpleasant even for those who aren't). But, you know, for those of us who are chemically sensitive with MCS many things are just as dangerous, can cause just as serious a problem as bee stings or peanut butter for that matter does for those who are allergic. It just might not be as visible...

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