Friday, September 01, 2006

Twiddling Thumbs and Polka Dot Dreams

I had intended to post here more often than I have been. But then I do have CFS. That means I'm full of good intentions but right down on zero energy.

I hesitate to post sometimes. After all, I ask myself who wants to read someone's whine? But then one of the reasons I started this blog to begin with so that others with CFS (FM and MCS) could see that they're not alone... or, if you're one of those who have unbelieving family or friends you could drag them in, point defiantly at the screen and pronounce: "See! I told you I'm not the only one!". And so it is that I'm writing here today. : )

This week has been the pits. Ok, ya, I did say that the last time I posted. I know. But it was the pits then too. Seems I've been choking on a lot of pits without the peaches lately. I can understand why Norms have a hard time understanding the fatigue we get. I can't even comprehend how anyone can be sooo very wiped out, weak, tired and still be breathing. How could I expect anyone else to know? Twenty-six years I've been ill now and each time I sink to this level of exhaustion I'm still stunned by it.

So what do I do when my eyes are too tired to stay focused properly? I can't read much. Can't work on art work. And then there's the numb, tingling hand and pain in arm that has stolen my ability to use the keyboard much. So even writing posts to my elists becomes difficult. What I do is play solitary, Spider Solitary to be exact.

Well, I thought I'd try to find another simple game to play, some word game as I do like word games. It frayed my mind. Loose nerve endings tangled up in knots and sizzled until steam arose. I quit and went back to my old familiar, repetitious solitary.

There's something comforting about solitary, all that repetitive, brainless placing card upon card over and over again. I recently heard that they've found that simple things such as opening jars with the opposite hand you normally use is good for Alzheimer's patients. Something about the brain, probably patterning and forcing a different area than normally used to do the same function.

So I've decided that playing solitary is good for my brain. It's relaxing. It requires little energy and maybe, just maybe by playing it over and over again I'm rewiring my head ?


Blogger Ciara said...

Hi Zona,

I've just found your blog and I'm enjoying the insights in your writing. I've had ME/CFS for 20 years, so I'm an old timer like yourself :-)


8:11 AM  
Blogger Zona said...

hi there! I think I've seen your blog too. Us 'oldies' gotta stick together. That's how we survive :)


12:43 AM  

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