Wednesday, August 16, 2006

There's Always Tomorrow?

I can't even begin to tell you how awful I've been feeling this week. Too tired to even see straight and that's no overstatement! We got my daughter sent off to camp for the week and here I thought it would be a terrific time to do some things while we were alone. Right.

It seems that in all the 'getting her together' for camp mom got all un-together and been three days now of recuperating from that packing etc. Not another thing done. Not one. Ok. Yes. I did do dishes a few times, but they looked blurry.

I heard myself say "oh well, I'll do it tomorrow". Somehow when you're younger it's a bit easier to think of loads of tomorrows ahead of us. After 26 yrs of illness and being, ah hmmm, over the hill (ok no, I don't think I am but my kids do?) it gets a bit harder to believe that there is this day called "One Day".

It occured to me that each day I wake up (or, like today get woken up waaay too early!) and before I blink twice I'm thinking of what all hasn't been done that I need to do. Believe me that is a very long list! Of course by afternoon I note I hadn't gotten but maybe one small chore on that list done and I'm already wiped out. "Later, after I rest a bit" I say to myself. Then later I'm assessing what I did and groaning that the list of "need to do's" is still just as long as it was when I woke up! Today I realized that I do this every day without thinking about it. No wonder I feel like the day was wasted!

So today I decided it was time for a new course of action. A new treatment, if you will. Ah yes. That is what I need. A plan! So here's my objective. As a friend recently said we need something to look forward to. What I'd been looking forward at was piles of chores to be done. Yuck! Nope. No more! As to tomorrow I'm going to think up one ENJOYABLE thing to do and look forward to doing it. One thing a day no matter how small. I do enjoy a few small things now, talking to husband, playing solitary on the computer to relax---but I don't look forward to them, I just do them. Tomorrow I'm going to think of something I CAN do and DO it !

Perhaps maybe yet this summer I will get to go on that short ride in the car. Maybe I'll get over to the store I've been wanting to get to for three months now. Just maybe I'll win the lotto too and then I can completely tear up that chore list if I wanted to! I'll hire the Brady's maid and Mr. Bellvedere! Oh and Godfrey, as in My Man ! And Mr. Clean, and the Tidy Bowl Man, and Frank Bunker Gilbreth, Welby, Kildare, House, Who, Wisenheimer,Hawkeye & Trapper John, Hullihan, & McCoy ! I'll hire Boy R D, Julia Childs, Chef!, and Cary Grant---

--hey! How did he get in there?? ...

Zzzz ZZzzzzzz Zz

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