Monday, April 07, 2008

Only when I'm wasted?

I got to thinking today. I was thinking about posting here again, talking about how it is to live with Cfs, FM and MCS in hopes that the world out there may better understand what it's like and for those fellow sufferers, so they know they're not allow in the weirdness of these symptoms. Yup, that was my intent in having this blog here.

For the last three days or so I've been totally wasted. I'm so weak and tired - no, not sleepy tired so much as absolutely wiped out wasted not one drop of energy to be found exhausted - I could cry. In fact when I get this exhausted that is exactly what happens. I have no energy to scream. I feel like crying. And I rarely ever cry.

And so here I sit telling the whole world (well, the few readers here anyway) that I feel like a total basketcase. It's funny how a few days of this can feel like an eternity. It feels endless, like it's not only been going on forever but will never come to an end, and yet I know that a mere few months ago pre-"the bug" I wasn't feeling this exhausted.

I've also been in incredible pain. It seems my back and ribcage problems are becoming chronic instead of up and down as it had been. And when it's hurting it is right through the roof pain these days. And me who can't take narry a drug including pain meds. Thank God for heating pads and dear friends to whine to, to keep me a bit sane. (I think I've moved past sane today).

Can someone breathe for me? I'm toooo tired...


I really need to discipline myself to post here on days when I'm not feeling so rotten...or so I told myself as I sat down to write this tale of woe...

(ps ... I did manage to design a couple new tshirts this last week which I hope to get added to my shops soon. Bills don't pay themselves and for some reason just refuse to wait!)

zona

2 Comments:

Blogger kris said...

just wanted to say THANX for making the effort to post this...feeling pretty rotten myself but glad to know i'm not alone :o}

2:01 PM  
Blogger Zona said...

Good to hear from you Kris! I fell last night and think I must have knocked my brain loose! Hard to sit up and type today but I hope to later..

zona

2:01 PM  

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